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1 in 3 Women and 1 in 4 Men Report Domestic Violence - MOST DON'T

Domestic Violence is the leading cause of birth defects!

Domestic Violence is the leading cause of female homicides and deaths during pregnancy.

Domestic Violence is an epidemic in and out of our Christian Churches!

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                      FULL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESEARCH PAPER HERE    

Domestic  Violence  which is referred to now as espousal abuse or intimate partner violence (IPV) can happen to anyone. It is usually overlooked, denied, justified, or excused.  When the abuse is emotional and verbal versus physical and sexual,  it is often minimized; although, its damaging effects leave deep wounds to the abused intimate partner.  Espousal abuse happens when one person in an intimate close relationship or marriage tries to dominate the other person in order to gain and maintain total control.  They use guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear down their partner and to keep them under his or her thumb.  Although abusers come from all levels of socioeconomic status and all types of occupations, 95% of all family violence involves husbands against their wives or couples living together.  What’s even more frightening is that it is just as prevalent in professing religious or Christian families.  One is three women experiences domestic violence and now the epidemic of violence has spread to our youth where 1 out or 4 young adolescents between the ages of 11 and 14 experience domestic violence or intimate partner abuse in their personal relationships.

Perhaps you are thinking that “violence” is too harsh of a word or sounds too extreme for non-physical abuse.  Ethicist Wolfgang Huber defines violence as “the intent to hurt or torture, more than physical injury”.  There is both physical and non-physical violence.  Theologian and author, Justin Holcomb along with his wife, Lindsey Holcomb, domestic violence specialist, define violence as an “act which causes injury to the life, property, or person of a human being, oneself, or others.”  DOMESTIC ABUSE has nothing to do with relationship dynamics.  DOMESTIC ABUSE has everything to do with the abusers faulty belief systems including entitlement.  VICTIMS CAN NOT CHANGE OR “MANAGE” THEIR ABUSERS BEHAVIOR.  What I mean by “manage their behavior” is that no matter what they do, cook, mother, listen, have sex all the time…no matter how perfect they could be, nothing is ever the abusers fault and over time the victim picks up and carries all this false guilt and believes they have totally failed their spouse, partner, children and often God.  This is probably one of the most cunning manipulative messages that abusers tell their victims and over time their victims believe these faulty messages. Victims often take on all the responsibility of the DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

Too often, people think that abuse stems from an inability of a person to control himself when they get angry; but this is not the case.  Abusers are able to control their behavior.  Experts know this is the case because they don’t threaten assault or insult everyone in their life who causes them problems.  Usually, they save the abuse for those closest to them, the ones they claim to love.  Abusers, can also choose when and where to abuse their victims.   They may act polite and like everything is fine in public but lash out once they are alone with their partner.  Another myth is that abusers can’t stop their abusive behavior but this also isn’t so.  Most abusers can quickly collect themselves when it’s to their advantage for example when the police show up.  All of a sudden they become this polite, calm and collected person.

According to some researchers, they believe the goal of abuse goes beyond just control and power. There seems to be an element of satisfaction to the abuser  in inflicting harm, pain and humiliation.  It is also an issue of vengeance in many cases. They choose to punish another for the pain, stress, disappointment abusers experience in their own personal lives.  Some men actually crave the false intimacy and self-pity that frequently follows their abuse.

 

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON VITAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TOPICS CHECK OUT OUR BLOG.   IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS LIVING WITH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE...DON'T DELAY... DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS NOT GOD'S WILL FOR YOUR LIFE.  IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT AND WE ARE HERE TO SERVE YOU IF YOU AND/OR YOUR CHILDREN HAVE BEEN AFFECTED OR ARE PRESENTLY LIVING IN A SPIRITUALLY, FINANCIALLY, EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY, OR OTHER ABUSIVE ENVIRONMENT.  Click here for a DV Safety Plan!  Free consultations and Video Counseling from the privacy of your own home Nationally or Internationally!  Call Dr. Baldwin for a confidential free consultation. If you are in crisis, please call 24/7 417-731-8354.   When a child witnesses one act of domestic violence, it causes the equivalent trauma as if the child was the victim of the abuse.  Let us ensure you have a plan in place should you face further danger at home to keep you and your children safe.  For those of you that have a loved one or a friend or a neighbor...family violence is everyone's business. 

Identifying Abuse

We are so glad you are here.  Recognizing abuse is always the
first step.  I don’t believe that Domestic Violence or Intimate Partner Violence is accurate terminology for the types of abuse that victims endure unless it is physical. 
 
According to the CDC, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience physical violence by their intimate partner at some point during their lifetimes. About 1 in 3 women and nearly 1 in 6 men experience some form of sexual violence during their lifetimes. Most abuse is not reported so considering those numbers, how many women 
 
Emotional, verbal, spiritual & financial abuse can leave just as deep a wound and often can cause even more pain and trauma depending on the severity and the type.  Some victims spend a lifetime healing from spiritual and emotional abuse  which can destroy all autonomy and self esteem.  It is these hidden wounds that most often go unnoticed and untreated leaving victims suffering and screaming silent cries.  
Considering this,